On February, 2nd 2018 I wrote to myself, ” I woke up this morning and I FEEL like a complete looser. I pray everyday and I have faith that Jesus will restore my hope. I am not sure if I believe in myself, I can’t seem to figure out why these events has happened to me or why they are happening to me. Over the years I have constantly been fighting and pushing forward and searching; while trying everything possible to make myself a better person. I have to motivate myself to get out of bed, I HAVE TO.” Deep dark days, I will never forget. A period in my